Narcissistic Abuse & Relational Trauma

Narcissistic abuse is a term many clients use to describe the distress they are experiencing in their relationship.  While it uncommon the person who has caused harm has received an official diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder, maybe you have concluded based on your own research that this description seemed to fit best to describe your experience.  The good news is, we can effectively and ethically address harmful behaviors and the negative impact without having to diagnose another person.

Relational trauma is psychological harm caused by a relationship that doesn't offer the safety, stability, love, respect, validation, attention, support, and/or caregiving that someone needs and includes but is not limited to narcissistic abuse.  Trauma within relationships can be violating on a number of levels including physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, financial, and spiritual.

Relational trauma may be overt or covert and include withholding, minimizing, gaslighting,  betrayal, accusations, criticism, denial, judgement, manipulation, control, and twisting the truth. This erodes confidence, self-esteem, leaving you confused, doubting yourself, questioning reality, and feeling extremely overwhelmed.  

If you’ve been made to feel like you’re never enough…

If you’ve been constantly blamed, doubted your own reality, or lost your sense of self in a relationship…

You’re not alone.  You’re not imagining things.

Experiencing relational trauma can happen in any relationship - families, friendships, romantic partnerships, and in the workplace.

As a victim, you may have been made to feel that you are over-reacting or that you are the problem.   It may seem that no one believes or understands you and/or impossible to have your experiences validated.  

Have you been blamed, shamed?  Have things only gotten worse as a result of being yourself or speaking up?     

You are not too much, nor are you responsible for someone mistreating you. 

Where we begin is based on what you are experiencing and what you need most.  Maybe this is gaining a sense of safety and stability and calming the nervous system, or ongoing intrusions and realistic fears.  Maybe it's breaking old patterns and gaining practical skills to navigate manipulation and conflict.  For many, the biggest need is to have a safe space to make sense of the complex nature of what has happened,  is happening, and how to process it all.