Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

When you have been in a relationship where you were repeatedly criticized, manipulated, dismissed, controlled, or made to question yourself, it can be difficult to make sense of what happened.

You may have spent a long time trying to understand the other person's behavior, wondering what you could have done differently, or trying to find a way to make the relationship work.

You may have been told that you were too sensitive, too difficult, overreacting, or the one causing the problems. You may have learned to question your own feelings and judgment because someone else's version of events was repeatedly put ahead of your own.

Over time, this can affect how you see yourself and what you trust about your own experience.

You may know that something was not right, but still find yourself questioning whether it was really that bad, whether you are remembering it correctly, or whether you have the right to feel the way you do.

You do not have to convince me that what happened to you mattered. It did.

Narcissistic abuse can happen in romantic relationships, families, friendships, and workplaces. It can involve criticism, manipulation, coercive control, gaslighting, emotional neglect, invalidation, and being made responsible for someone else's emotions.

Sometimes the pattern is obvious. Other times, it happens gradually and can be difficult to recognize while you are in it.

You may find yourself:

• questioning your memory, feelings, or perceptions
• feeling responsible for other people's emotions
• struggling to know whether your needs are reasonable
• having difficulty setting or maintaining boundaries
• second guessing yourself after conversations
• feeling anxious about how others will respond
• losing touch with what you actually want or feel
• wondering whether you were the problem
• grieving a relationship you kept hoping would become different, which can sometimes be connected to a trauma bond 

If some of these experiences feel familiar, you may find it helpful to read What Is Narcissistic Abuse? where I explore these patterns in more detail and talk about what narcissistic abuse can look like in relationships.

Healing is not about blaming yourself for what happened or becoming better at managing someone else's behavior. It is about understanding what happened, recognizing the patterns that developed around it, and beginning to build something different.

Together, we can work to:

• make sense of what you experienced without blaming yourself
• heal the wounds left by manipulation, invalidation, and emotional neglect
• strengthen your ability to recognize and trust your own internal signals
•  learn practical ways to respond when someone is controlling, manipulative, or antagonistic behaviors 
• build boundaries that feel clear, realistic, and self-respecting
• work through grief and losses that may not have been recognized by others
• develop a stronger sense of who you are outside the roles you learned to take on 
• feel more grounded and secure in your relationships

I may draw from approaches such as EMDR , IFS, and attachment-focused work, depending on what you need and what fits your situation.

We can move at a pace that feels right for you. You do not have to have everything figured out before you begin.

If faith is important to you, I offer counselling from an accepting Christian perspective. You do not have to be Christian to work with me, and this does not have to be part of your counselling. You can include your faith in our work, or leave it outside of counselling.

I have completed Dr. Ramani Durvasula's clinical training in narcissistic abuse and antagonistic relationship dynamics.

I have completed Dr. Ramani Durvasula's clinical training in narcissistic abuse and antagonistic relationship dynamics.

Therapy is most helpful when there is a sense of honest connection and genuine care for what you are going through.  I offer a free 15 minute consultation so we can talk about what you have been experiencing, what you are looking for support with, and whether I might be a good fit for you.