Narcissistic Abuse & Relational Trauma

Narcissistic abuse is a term many clients use to describe the distress they are experiencing in their relationship.  Maybe based on your own research this description seems to fit when trying to describe your experience.  The good news is, we can effectively and ethically address harmful patterns without having to diagnose another person.

Relational trauma is psychological harm caused by a relationship that doesn't offer the safety, stability, love, respect, validation, attention, support, and/or caregiving that someone needs and includes but is not limited to narcissistic abuse.  Trauma within relationships can be violating on a number of levels including physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, financial, and spiritual.

Relational trauma may be overt or covert and include withholding, minimizing, gaslighting,  betrayal, accusations, criticism, denial, judgement, manipulation, control, and twisting the truth. This erodes confidence, self-esteem, leaving you confused, doubting yourself, questioning reality, and feeling extremely overwhelmed.  

Relational trauma is harm caused by distressing experiences within close relationships, often involving abuse, neglect, or abandonment, impacting a person's sense of self, capacity for trust, and ability to form healthy relationships.  This may include gaslighting, coercive control, abuse, manipulation, deception, projection, confusion, blame shifting, false accusations.   

Psychological trauma is the unique individual experience of an event, a series of events,  or a set of enduring conditions, in which the individual’s ability to integrate his or her emotional experience is overwhelmed and/or the individual experiences (subjectively) a threat to life, bodily integrity, or sanity.” (Saakvitne et al, 2000)

If you’ve been made to feel like you’re never enough…

If you’ve been constantly blamed, doubted your own reality, or lost your sense of self in a relationship…

You’re not alone.  

Experiencing relational trauma can happen in any relationship - families, friendships, romantic partnerships, and in the workplace.

As a victim, you may have been made to feel that you are over-reacting or that you are the problem.   It may seem that no one believes or understands you and/or impossible to have your experiences validated.  

Have you been blamed, shamed?  Have things only gotten worse as a result of being yourself or speaking up?     

You are not too much, nor are you responsible for someone mistreating you. 

Where we begin is based on what you are experiencing and what you need most.  Maybe this is gaining a sense of safety and stability and calming the nervous system, or ongoing intrusions and realistic fears.  Maybe it's breaking old patterns and gaining practical skills to navigate manipulation and conflict.  For many, the biggest need is to have a safe space to make sense of the complex nature of what has happened,  is happening, and how to process it all.